quick blog for whomever reads my blog [no one]

I got really lazy and I don't bother to even update this blog since no one gets back to me on whatever I write. my grades are in a big predicament. I was so determined to do well this school year and I pulled off an 80 average for the fall, 4 points higher than last year.

a lot of things have been on my mind. most of them are sad, a select few are good. but I don't even know where to start theres just many things that drives my brain haywire.

Bad

• my mom has yelled at me every single day, and I pray and pray each day but there is not much change and it kind of seems hopeless to me, but I still continue to pray.
• tomorrow marks the eighth week that I haven't attended ocm service in person since my mom won't let me. I've been attending service through oovoo and skype. thank you yi ping jeremy and fiona for making it possible
• not lately, but a certain friend and I...we used to be so close [to me not sure about her]. her and I would talk like..everyday. even when I'm not at home I would be sitting at barnes and noble, instead of reading and doing sat prep homework, I would sit there and talk to her on aim and sometimes on the phone. things have changed, and just wondering why hurts. I really wish that things can be the way they used to be. cool summer nights chatting with someone that I enjoyed talking to.
  
• my webcam broke, so I've been using my cousin's laptop to see my friends and service. theres a webcam that I want but my mom won't let me buy it even with the money that I've saved up for the past month[50]
• I feel as if a lot of people are starting to be jerks...like big time. its like middle school all over again, we'd be cool with each other for a year, played together hung out together, but the second year I'm being rejected and casted into the corner.
  

Good

• Although I've been locked up in the mornings at home, I'm still keeping my faith up in God. the little time I spend at ocm on fridays before being ushered to work and then go home still gives me that motivation to keep trusting in him. "Strength will rise as we wait upon the Lord"
  
• I'm still allowed to go to volleyball on sundays in the afternoon which I am extremely grateful for. even though not a lot of cana people go, I'm still happy for the people who go that I can see their faces at least once. like two weeks ago, how a group of people from bcbc decided to come which brightened up my week. I don't look forward to anything at home anymore. the chances that I have to get out of the apartment, I take advantage of them.
  

yeah theres more bad than good, and theres probably more if I put more thought but the worst of them are on this post. nothing much has happened this week. I bumped into helen on thursday and got that hug that I always get from her. it was a positive counter balance against the negative aspects that happened that day. as for the rest of this break, I probably won't be in the city and I'll have internet access whenever I'm at my cousins and not at my aunts house where I'll be sleeping. hopefully I can still stay happy.