thursday.

Again, today was a quick day. Spanish is always retarded I don't pay attention. I get 90s on the tests, and finish all the homework. she gave me an 80 for my grade which is BS. Biology...we cut up a frog, but I didn't touch it. I was too busy writing down the notes and stuff. reminds me to finish that lab. swimming.....hmmm I cannot do the breast stroke. if I were ever in the middle of the ocean, I would be stupid to use the breast stroke. freestyle all the way. lunch was lunch. global....some stupid crap. math, same thing. haha I was annoying alex and jamie though. english was a retarded periodic assessment. nothing much to blog about. I got my laptop back which I'm grateful for. I have about $2000 worth of software on it...I think. doesn't matter, its all good. :D I might not be able to go to bible study tomorrow cuz my mom is gonna need me. :< I don't want that to happen. :[ any plans for next thursday anyone?

argh.

My mom calls me right before prayer. FML. I hate how she always disturbs and peeks her nose into my business. I'm on the computer right now, and she sits at the table in the kitchen watching whatever I do on the fricken' computer, its so annoying. She's taken away my privacy. She took away my phone so there goes my contacts. She watches me when I'm studying, doing homework, blogging. There goes my friends. She doesn't like me chatting on AIM. I do it anyways and she yells. Even if a window flashes, she'll scream at me "WHY ARE YOU TALKING TO YOUR FRIENDS?? YOU DON'T HAVE ANY." Then she goes into a 20 minute lecture on how I'm gonna be poor when I grow up and that no girl would want me as a husband. She tells me to drop out of high school right now and collect soda cans for redemption. WTF. She evens calls me everyday afterschool to confirm where the hell I'm going. ITS TOO MUCH. I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE. I don't have anyone to talk to about problems anymore. I hate my life. yes, I pray to god about it and yes, I know there are people who have less fortunate lives than me. Even right now she's yelling at me about how I'm a failure at life and that I'm never going to succeed. FML big time.

burn.

Today passed by quickly...did I already talk about today? feels like I did, whatever school was boring as usual. We got to begin our dissection of a frog though. Eshaun friggen stabbed the frog with the scalpel so I think our group is screwed. he kept rubbing the scalpel in the frog's anus. The frog smelled and it was wrinkly and anoorexic. not enough flies? I should be studying for my global test tomorrow...I guess that's gonna be on the train and during lunch. Getting my laptop back tomorrow too! :D I have no idea how I'm gonna carry all of that stuff home. especially when I'm gonna be at youth corner. hm...I guess I'll be holding my textbook. :<>

so left out.

asdfghjkl;. I spent all day at home today...FML. all of my friends had their plans but none of them wanted me to go with them. either I'm that boring to be with. or I'm a complete asshole who no one wants to be around. I hate my life. FML. today was so fricken' boring no one asked to go anywhere. I probably wouldn't have been able to go, but most likely I can but didn't make a difference. no one asked to hang, and I didn't know where to hang. I spent today sitting on my butt reading fml and then I went up to the roof top to like... sleep and think about the things that were making me sad. long list and this topic was one of them. sitting up there was not peaceful at all. parties could be heard, people having fun, and people just having a good time. it was horrible...FML big time.

I'm beginning to lose it.

I feel like I'm beginning to lose it. I'm not sure if this is true or not but some people from cana don't like me very much. sometimes I don't feel welcomed by others at ocm. feels as if they want me out and that I don't belong. as if I'm there just to hang out and not to learn more about God. this is all my thoughts about it though. I may be wrong but thats how I feel about it. and its just wrong to me. =/

ok, different topic. memorial weekend is such a letdown. yesterday playing handball was eh. got kinda tannish yesterday not much. I GOT FRICKEN' SOCK TAN. so disgusting. today was like.... the big spark, highlight of the weekend. I was sitting outside talking with susan about our lives. she was just sitting on that....brick wall thingy waiting for our teacher but she never came. I sat with her and talked about whats troubling us. I talked to her about the person I liked, the person that might be mad or something at me. she talked to me about her problem such as missing out on her track meet for the...city championship I think. also about how tech ruined our lives :D. turns out I came in second place for the writing contest and math so thats an extra $60 in my pocket....soon. came home and talked to....people [you know who you are lol] but yeah I doubt theres gonna be anything fun to do tomorrow. no one is asking me to go anywhere. I don't know where to hangout, everyone seems to be busy with their own plans. I guess I'll sit at home and talk to myself? or someone on aim if they're gonna be home like me. pshh I'm a no life. D:

a place to calm down.

lately there has been so much going through our lives. my mom comes down like a fricken' bomb. sometimes I need a place to cool down and think things over alone. I chose my rooftop. it can be relaxing up there with the nice sunset view over ner jersey. it is my haven where I can lie down on the tanning chairs and look up at the sky. I can get away from all the noise from my mom and have a place to talk to god and seek for answers.

breakdown.

My mom is sooo fricken' annoying. I know she just wants the best for me but I think its too much. She went through my notebook and schoolbag today. She is so unfair. I got home today early to finish my homework and study. I ask to go to the volleyball game to support my friend. I get a really long lecture on how I'm slacking off.I'm not she says that I don't have a mindset to study and do well in school. I tell her that I'm trying but she always says no and its a huge burden. I can't take it much longer where my parents don't trust in me. she thinks that I'm lying about how I try to study and do homework. I'm tired of having her judge me the wrong way and I'm getting all the blame and getting yelled for it. There are times when she yells at me and I want to breakdown and cry but guys don't do that so I fight to stay strong. but this barrier of mine isn't going to last much longer. I really can't take it any more...

finish homework pretty early...

So....today is Tim's consolation game which I hope I can go to. I'm not sure if my mom is going to let. I came home early today and just finished my homework. I'm about to see if she'll let me go since I finished homework and I'll be home by 8. Last time I went I got home at 8:05 and stayed up till 11:30 doing homework where she got mad. But today, I finished and I'll try to get home earlier so hopefully I can go. :D about to go ask, wish me luck. Today was pretty boring. Classes are always boring at tech, theres never anything fun to learn anymore. unlike in elementary school where making light bulbs light up was as interesting as learning about the gossip at school. -.-

you know.

Ok....so we lost in the semi finals. big deal. none of the people on the volleyball team were sad about it. Tim actually stayed to watch the game so we all stayed. Even though we lost, Tim still had high high spirits...even though he lost. I think that shows that Tim has a lot of good sportsmanship and leadership. so yeah...after that game, we stayed to watch Kennedy HS. vs. SIT. We were still technically voting for Tech, STATEN ISLAND TECH! We used the poster-like signs patricia made to root for SIT that were originally meant to root for us. but aw wells. I'm a really boring guy on this blog, I know :[. ergh, I have stuff on my mind but I don't know who reads this blog. nor do I know anyone who would want me to talk freely to them. D:

water in my ears.

ok, so today is day.....6? yeah, whatever, we had gym today which is swimming :D. so ms. o'hara let use dive/jump from the starting blocks and it was cool. I belly flopped like... twice. the last few ones I did, I "accidentally" front flipped. unlike matt he just did a retarded jump and landed on his back. omg, mandy dives so beautifully and gracefully. so does alex zhitelzheyfoiladsfli [jewish accent]. so after I got out of the pool, there was still water in my ears. after school , it was still there, its gone now though :]. can't wait for memorial day and the thursday after that. I have no actual plans yet but I'm sure I can do something fun at the last minute. hoping I can go hangout with suki [the girl that looks like jessica!] or patricia and those ocm people. :D. yo, Tim's game tomorrow. we're gonna be there "TECHHH! YOU KNOW!" praying that we'll make it to the finals against seed 1, Cardozo.

bored in DDP.(>'.')>

So....I just rushed my DDP homework in DDP class. I'm grateful, THANK YOU MANDY! :]. She got me a 96 on my homework that I started 10 minutes before she checked it. Its sooo boring. bible study later :]. listening to music but I'm too lazy to put up the lyrics like patricia did. so far, I remember listening to:

everything that you ever wanted - hawk nelson[I think that's his last name]
beautiful - akon
hosanna- hillsong united
i will go - starfield
you and me - lifehouse
you found me - the fray

I'm tired of class. I just wanna get out of school, halo and then bible study :D.
btw, I got no where to go on memorial day, tomorrow, or uh the thursday that we have off. gary says he wants to go to ceo for pool on that thursday but its not confirmed. if anyone has any plans, hit me up? :]

The Aftermath

So...I doubt anyone reads my blog :[. but I'll blog anyways just for the heck of it. I'm sitting here with my global textbook in my lap. So....things went pretty well yesterday when I told my mom my report card grades. turned out to only be a 20 minute lecture. there was no arguing which I found was weird. omg. I got five starred so hard today. :[ TWICE on the same spot. it got so red. stupid matt and show. gahhh I'm not too sure who I like. :[ its frustrating but people that I like, like....always would rather be friends so yeah. I guess not. bible study tomorrow. whooo! I'm not treating people to yaya's tomorrow. I already spent $9 yesterday treating dana and patricia. D:

Late blog about monday

Ok, I'm still sitting here. I'll do a late blog about monday just to drag it out. soooo, it went by pretty fast, english was stupid as usual. After school, it was common time so I follow Patricia to Stuyvesant. I found it really awkward. I sat next to her and we were both silent. I wanted to say something or talk about a random topic but then I would feel as if I would aggravate her or something. eh, anyways what passes has passed. But it was seriously awkward to hear nothing by silence instead of talking to someone. Anywho, we got to stuy. I noticed Justin at the corner of my eye. Patricia starts dragging him and trying to get him to play handball at Battery Park. Patricia was so stubborn, Justin broke free and ran. Being stubborn, Patricia made me follow and so we stalked him to the staten island ferry. we bumped into patricia's [I'm tired of capitalizing proper nouns] friend william. so it was a pretty nice ferry ride [first time on it]. patricia once again tries to get justin to go handball at a court in staten island. he escapes, and patricia scrapes her arm D: [that jerk]. so william patricia and I went to C.S.I. apparently, college people SUCK at handball, they kept lobbing it OVER the wall. in my opinion, I could've beaten william, his hand was so stiff and not cupped at all. then after one game of them two playing and me watching [-.- apparently I sucked too much]. we left. william took a 10 minute bus ride to his place. me and patricia caught a half hour bus ride to the ferry terminal. seriously...I HATED the silence. we were both still silent for the bus ride but then she was trying to sleep so I guess that's excusable. wow I LOVE ranting [not, but I hate being yelled at, if you're still reading this, I'll give you a sticker the next time I see you] me and patricia had to RUN down a ramp to catch the ferry. again, I still liked the ferry ride, this time on the newer boat. patricia was gonna be home alone when she got back and with no food. being a guy, I bought her dinner, or..whatever she calls it and yeah that's how the day ended. I get home, a half hour lecture. right now, a possible 2 hour lecture. -.- bye

Our hands fit together.

So, its a boring wednesday night and I'm sitting here blogging [how nice]. I'm about to receive blows in the face [possible for this to be literal]. We got report cards back today. Although I went up 10 points, its still a 76 average :[. I got a 80 in spanish, 91 in bio lab, I was supposed to get an 85 in biology. but the teacher messed it up. D:<>'.')>" :] I can't wait for this next hour [maybe two] of yelling and lecturing from my mom to pass by. I really do try, but sometimes its just really hard. Well I guess I'll also do a seperate late blog for monday.

sorry

I'm sorry for not updating my blogspot often. I find no use of it, but I will try to continue posting although I'm sure that I'm just talking to myself and that no one reads my blog. Anywho...yesterday was Parent Appreciation Day at OCM. uh I'll use PAD for short. yesterday was fun I guess. I had fun spraying whipped cream on those...those...cups with the cake and strawberries. We played tha banana game. I was about to sit on the seat to eat the bao but then I remembered that I had a math competition in 10 minutes so I rushed out without saying bye [I'm sorry! D:]. I won second place which is kinda cool. they give you a scholarship to go back to learn [wtf? just gimme the cash $30] so yeah. Different topic. I'm not sure who I have a crush on. It's between a crush and interested since I like.. never see her. And its hard sometimes to talk to her since we have nothing to talk about. -.- so yeah.

hangout?

I'm not sure what font I use but I think its this one, but anyways. I'm tired of having no where to go afterschool [except for wednesdays and fridays]. It's so booring at home and theres nothing to do. I'm hungry....for GOD. :] yeah...I read my Bible sometimes....so? do something about it! :] but yeah. Nothing to do and I decided to actually use blogspot. xP The "I'm Hungry For God" thing was also from the 30 hour famine. so yeah....