east coast tour thingy,

so I'm heading out tomolo morning at 7 for this chinese tour group thing of the east coast. the only landmarks that I know I'm going to are the liberty bell, white house, and smokey mountains [I think]. I'll be gone tomolo, tuesday, and be back wednesday night. that means I'm gonna miss handball tomorrow and possible chill time. I never got anytime to just chill with lily. we promised each other but it never worked out. :[ so much for being best friends [JK JK :D still love you] but I really need to hang out with certain people[only person I can think of right now to hangout with is lily]

so this pretty much marks the end of summer. I can remember the first day of high school as if it were yesterday. holding onto my schedule, trying to find the rooms. this year, I won't have a cluster so new people, new friends maybe a few old faces in my class. I'm aiming to do so much better this year. all I needed last year was a new, fresh start. new teachers who won't have a lasting bad impression, no cumulatives to drag the average down. I'm committed to achieving higher, not only educationally, but also spiritually. that's why I'm going to summer conference friday. to learn more and more about His word. I pray everyday, pray for some things that may be given to me [eg: better grades, someone that will like me for who I am. maybe, a friend who would like me more than a friend. :o]

so I gotta finish packing, I'll still be on aim, but I'll be using my awesome[cough]MACBOOK! :D I hope hotels have wifi. =/ if they don't then no aim, blogspot, OR facebook. :[ -adds to prayer list- "hotel must have wifi" -scribble scribble-

no title.

so today... I was SUPPOSED to go read with LilyLee today, but I happened to bump into sze and patricia. they pressured me to go with them so I left barnes and noble, and lily told me to go with them. :[

so we got to the theatrem and I thought that I should call lily back to see if she still wants to go to barnes and noble, and sadly, she doesn't pick up. I called like... 7 times altogether [shows how much I care about her feelngs? :D]. she never picked up, but she called back! :D [made my heart jump when I saw her name]. I apologized over and over, so I owe her [she says I didn't do anything] but I'm gonna buy her something to make it up. we talked for about 20 minutes [like.. one of the longest phone calls I've ever had(:]

sze and patricia finished their movie and decided to come over to my place, quick stop to look at the roof in the daylight, we came home to watch tokyo drift, and then initial D. my mom came home a bit earlier, so they stayed for dinner too. it was pretty awkward how my mom kept talking to patricia and us in general about doing well in school etc etc.

so like.. I'm hoping that we can have some time to chill with each other since, I missed out today. :[

early in the morning...

so its pretty early in the morning....9:43.. wow david, VERY early. I'm bored with nothing to do, so I decided to blog about some recent thingys. um... life is pretty boring, I haven't done anything productive ever since the second to last week of school. As of right now..waiting for sandra to sign on, or lily to respond in hopes of going somewhere. if neither of them like.. do something I'm gonna end up watching movies with Rick and them. I would go, but the thing is...theres no girls going and I don't like sausage fests. sandra said she wanted me to go "adventuring" with her today to find her package of clothes. so I'm stuck home.... :[

a little update.

so I haven't posted up a blog for a while, but that's because nothing interesting has happened the past few days. today was an exception though, went to midwood for handball. I won singles against...eric and sam HUI! I'm proud of myself, but sam didn't go fully bankaii maybe 75%? but he pushed and the end was 25-23 so if he actually went all out, I prolly would've lost. so like... lily and sandra came [yayyy] but they came pretty late. we decided to go watch a movie, but sandra and lily decided not to go. we kinda ditched eric by accident, he moved to slow since he was talking to lily and sandra. we got to the theatre and the next showing of inglorious basterds was at fricken 7. we ended up going to my place, punishing my toilets, then going up to the roof. we watched the sun set, it was really cool and stuff if only we were with girls. :[

dedicated to ms. anna, sdc, and boston team :D

wow... summer has come and gone. I've met so many new and wonderful people, so many cherished memories, and things that will never be forgotten [FAY LONG! :D] but one thing, or rather person that will always be in my heart, is ms. anna yuen, director of summer day camp at OCM. I remember all of the times back when I was in sdc, when I was like.. 3 feet tall. I started going to sdc in 3rd grade and went all the way to 5th. 3 years may not seem much, but the memories that this person has given me, is enough to last a lifetime. today marks the last day of the sdc program.... for now. one day after the rennovation is all done and everything is back to normal, hopefully the sdc tradition will one day live again. ocm has taught me many things as I grew up, especially ms. anna. she has taught me how to love and care for each other, how to treat people with respect, and how to make new friends each day. as we always learned, "little by little everyday, my jesus, is changing me..."

I think I already blogged about this. but another SPECIAL shoutout to the Boston Team! :D WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO [x50817491 bajillion] seriously, I enjoyed the short time just....modulating[another word for chilling] together, even though it was only 3 days. we'll have more time in the future.

boston team. :]

I really enjoyed the volunteer outreach. Even though I come in the afternoons at 1, I still enjoyed the fun activities that they did, enjoyed the testimony that Max gave. Max's testimony got me thinking if I'm really christian. If I'm actually two faced or not. no one likes someone who lives a double life. I'm trying really hard to live my life for Him, but its really hard. I'm slowly growing to being a bit more like him, everyday, but the things that He has made for us on the Earth are like.. obstacles. the things that He has provided for us are like... little challenges to see if you can toss it aside to continue the run to eternal life. it's like a guy, choosing food, or keeping your friend company. ITS SO HARD TO CHOOSE! but we have to keep in mind to do the right thing...take the food and bring it to your friend, THEN eat it there! :D

today was boston team's last day to hangout with us. I'm disappointed in myself that I didn't get to know them better. I would've liked to go up to them and talk, but I don't know them that well...it would've been really awkward for me to have come out of nowhere. I guess the few people that I got close to are Rosalie, and Lucilla. they seem like really nice and cool people, but really, 3 days isn't enough time to get to know people. I actually found a few of the boston team members on facebook, but I'm not going to add them, too much awkwardness. I have stalking skills I wish I didn't have. :[

the boston teams shirts... they got me thinking. I didn't win a shirt, they didn't give me a shirt as a gift, and I was really jealous. I really wanted one of their shirts, I didn't know about the raffle for their shirts until they actually read the winners, I was so depressed. :[ then I tried to find one of them to give me their shirt, but I don't think theres any left. I was so sad that no one told me about the raffle yesterday, I didn't have any chance to win. but this got me thinking. I'm putting a materialistic thing, before Him. I can always serve and worship him without the shirt, without anything, but I really wanted that shirt because of what it stood for. I'm really sorry for ranting and I only know two people who would actually read this far. I never had a shirt from church before, and I thought to myself that having one would be so cool, it would speak out to people without me speaking. I'm disappointed in myself that I wanted their shirt SO badly...

I hate my life.

seriously...I want to go jump off my roof [40 floors down]. My mom yelled at me for "not helping" my sister. I really hate how I get blamed for something that's not my fault. my life...I really hate it just for today. I'm still grateful for all my friends and people who care for me.

my sister comes into my room going "help me print out the UK song on youtube!"
me: you can't print out songs from youtube, and youtube is gonna take like an hour to load
her: PRINT IT OUT! D:
me: I'll print out lyrics, whats the name of it?
her: UK SONG!
me: which UK song?
her: THE UK song!
me: idk what that is.
her: THE SONG I LEARNED IN CLASS!
me: IDK WHAT SONG YOU LEARN IN CLASS!
mom: STOP YELLING AND HELP YOUR SISTER!a
me: idk what song she wants how do I help her?
mom: why aren't you helping your sister HUH? WHY NOT?
me: IDK WHICH FRICKEN SONG SHE WANTS
mom: goes all confucius on me telling me some stupid crap
[mom goes away]
her: the uk nation anthem
me: wtf...
mom: I'm gonna go ask your pastor if he's been teaching to to not help your family.

WTF!

ocm superstars.

OCM superstars is coming up. are you ready for the challenge? because I'm not. lol we have like.. 5 days to get the routines down. we already have the dress code down. instead of a baseball cape, I might just wear my visor beanie if I can't find a good looking cap. sdc has been such a fun time for me this year. meeting all these new friends, having a wonderful time trying to teach the kids. I don't want the friendships that I have made over the summer to be a one time thing. I'm hoping that we'll always have like... a day to hang out in the week, or at least once a month. maybe handball whenever we're free, or just meeting up for like... some bubble tea, it would be nice if we could hangout once in a while during the school year. one time relationships are not fun.

ocm superstars are so close. :o

we talked, and we laughed, but it never happend

The word "like" has been bothering me a lot these days. I can't tell who I like anymore. It used to be this girl, but after I told her, I don't know if I still like her. I mean, I still look at her differently than others but I already know that she doesn't like me the same way, so why do I still view her differently than others? I can't stand it.

Then there's another thing. A lot of the new friends that we make, we'll joke around, we'll laugh with each other, but will it ever be like... a lasting friendship? We meet during the summer, but is that supposed to be it? There goes all the hugs that we give everyday, there goes all the good times that we had in those 6 weeks, but is it all meant for waste? I don't want any friendship to go to waste. I've lost a friend before, and I don't want to lose any others. Friendships are supposed to last. whether it be just a quick conversation, or a satisfying hug every time we see each other. I don't want to have the same feeling of losing my friend whom I've been growing up with until middle school. It's an unbearable memory and I think about it everyday. I think about what would happen if one of the friends that I make this summer were to forget all about me. if one of the friends I've gotten close with just left. gone, forgotten? Every single person that I've become close friends with, will always have a place in my heart. I still have the empty slot for my childhood friend to come back to. if he ever comes back...

summer is in the air. literally...

summer is finally here. it was so fricken hot today, I could probably cook eggs on a car hood. I was sweating so much during gym, dunking hoops who can't resist? o.o I was smart enough to like...drench my shirt in axe so I wouldn't smell in the afternoon, but I think I'm gonna carry the whole can with me now. I think this girl likes me right now. I could probably say the same to her but ionno, I just got over someone. isn't there like... a 1 month rule or something?

I'm kinda pumped for sepetember, kind of not. first thing...SUMMER CONFERENCE!!! WOOO! I need to hand in my check on sunday ._. people are encouraged to sign up because I heard its a lot of fun. this is gonna be my first and hopefully not last retreat. I'm sure I'll have a lot of fun playing and exploring more of His word. but then.... a day after I come back from conference, its school. I'm excited to meet new friends, but this summer has passed by way too quickly its like we're driving a little buggy car and summer is cruising in a lambo...I just wish I could stay in summer and reminisce with the good times we had, the fun times we cherish, and the new friends that we made.

SDC '09 FOREVER

midwood. friends. and tans?

I was woken up at 7 today....my stupid sister kicked the bottom of my bed. :[ I think like... people hate me. patricia was supposed to call me to go handball, but I had to call justin instead because I never got a call. patricia said she told nelson to call me...jonathan li was gonna go too. I ended up waiting at midwood cuz trains are retarded...I'm sitting there waiting...I see sandra and jeremy, I'm like... WTH?!?!?!?! turns out they planned to go to midwood too, sdc ruled the courts today. :D sandra, lily, patricia, sze, james, jonathan, jonathan, mike, harry, jeremy, justin, nelson, and....me :] so many J's....o.o I had an awesome time, I won my first singles game against harry. :D sze and justin kept telling me to strip though... maybe next time but I don't want to blind people with my paleness.. :[

I'm feeling as if like... people are talking nice to me just to be nice and not to hurt my feelings. that feeling is so scary, if people don't like talking to me, then they should just tell me upfront and I'll stop talking to them. cuz like.. a lot of IM conversations..people take mad long to respond, I can't tell if they're actually afk, or if they're thinking of something nice to say back. :[

my tan got worse btw..a LOT worse and if you've read this far into my blog, I'll give you a cookie the next time I see you.

I can't stop thinking

I don't like my life, I hate it, hate it hate it. I was forbidden to go to bible study today because my mom is still worried about what happened last week. the whole fricken' thing is over, there's nothing to worry about, I want to like...rip my hair out. I get locked up with no more freedom. I'm not even allowed out tomorrow. I have to stay home and study. WTH!!! its like I'm held captive with a 51809704319274 ton ball chained to my foot.

aside from my mom though, she's the least of my problems. if anyone noticed, I stopped bringing my guitar. a certain individual always takes it when I want to play it, always puts it away when I don't want it. like the other day, she asked to bring my guitar home, I thought she was going straight home, but no. she fricken went to some place and played it in public. the humidity isn't good for my guitar, and she knew that, she takes my guitar out in public without permission to play it in public, I thought that she was only gonna play indoors. I found fricken warps in the body.... really small but I can see them if I inspect them close enough. I'm being taken advantage of and I don't like it when people do that. she never says thank you unless I ask, is never considerate to bother asking me to take my guitar. she just takes it like she's that close to me. she used to be, maybe, but for like... 4 months and counting she's been a B to me. treats me like crap, she doesn't say mean things to me but she's changed her attitude towards me. that person still acts the same towards everyone else I feel as if I'm being left out.

and thanks for everyone who've been caring about my look recently. theres just a lot of stuff that's on my mind, and I don't have a way to get it all out. I can't go handball and release it there because my mom won't let me free. I can't handball in ocm cuz its too small, I don't have anyone to talk to about it because everyone is too busy and no one cares. I want to like....end it. right now.

painting in NJ?

so today... I was forced to miss out on street fair cuz my mom made me. instead I had to go to NJ to paint my cousin's house. :[ I wanted to go to street fair so badly! I wanted to help out and stuff even though I forgot to sign up like 3 weeks ago. so like.. my cousin drove us to a black neighborhood. I kept questioning why we were in a ghetto...and then, I saw the White Castle, I laughed so hard. white castle in a black neighborhood, makes so much sense. then I started making racist jokes and stuff, but my cousin always topped me.

we got to the house, it was like.. CRAP. run down there was only electricity on the first floor, there was no windows on the first floor, all taken out to be replaced second floor seemed nicer but no electricity and there was no running water. good thing we're not rennovating to live in it, we're renting it out. :D so we didn't have to do a fantastic job. painted for about 6 hours, highlight though, we came out of home depot and we were driving down the street. I notice that all the cars are waiting on the right side of us and we were going about 20. thats when I noticed there were cars head on at the stop light across the street. henry and I like.. FREAKED OUT! emily was like "wha??" she noticed and like...turned into a gas station...the cop behind us didn't mind. LOL! I missed street fair, I just learned that even if you didn't sign up and helped, you still get a shirt... FML!