I'm so sorry. :<

I haven;t blogged in well over a month. Theres never anything much to blog about anymore. school's been growing great and I feel as if I've grown a lot in faith. no one ever reads this anyways so theres really no point. I got a 97 on my global test today and I'm really happy. I think I like her, but I'm so sure she doesn't like me back, but sometimes I wish that she likes me but I can tell its never gonna happen :[

I've been practicing guitar, and I don't think I'm getting much better, but as nelson says, "patience is a virtue" so hopefully, I'll be able to play for Him one day. not just at home, but for everyone else to praise and worship just the same. God is a mysterious force who works in his own ways.

"if God was small enough to understand, how is he big enough to worship?"

I hate it how everyone takes advantage of me and shows no appreciation in return.

hard times.

so its a sunday night[yayyyy] no school tomorrow! I think I'm heading over to jeremy's place to finally see that sexy mahjong table of his. onto other news, church life is getting so much better for me. I was so relieved to see courtney at church today. I haven't seen her in forever, I really missed her. :[

I want to get baptized, but theres stuff that keeps me from being baptized. I don't mind making up the classes I missed, actually I want to make them up and take that extra step to declare to everyone that I'm a christian. it's just my mom that seems to have a problem. earlier today, she told me, or rather yelled, that she would be so much happier if I didn't go to church. that hurt me. I really want to get baptized. I'm not sure what God wants for me, maybe He'll want me to be baptized next year, perhaps with another fellow cana-er(: it's all His choice now. I've made my choice to get baptized, what's His choice for me?

wbc quick update.

so its the middle of the week, school's been going pretty well I guess. I'm aiming for that 90 average plus, in hopes of getting a new phone/ipod. major update, I got my first 100 on a math homework. :D I'm proud of myself. my scores have ranged from 80-99. so I feel very accomplished today. there's nothing much to blog about anymore. all of the hype is gone, and we're back in school. no more vacations, no time to hang out. :[ I finally got to see lily again last saturday which made my heart jump cuz it's been like... forever. I finally saw sandra today too, she said that I prolly won't see her until winter conference or so. :[

so tomorrow, a group called wbc [westboro baptist church] will be protesting outside tech tomorrow. I think it's a stupid idea. Their website says that God Hates Fags. not really a welcoming christian church....this is what they have on their schedule they're saying that brooklyn tech is stupid for supporting gay rights. I'm neutral about the topic, but why protest? it's gonna end up in a riot, and probably mosh pit. I have a really big feeling that some idiot from tech is gonna throw a punch at the guys. and then all hell breaks loose. =/ I'm gonna pray that everyone stays safe tomorrow. praise God.

taking some time off

wow...lately I've been bombarded with school work, and it's only sophomore year. I'm actually proud of myself. all of my teachers like me this year. so far, I have an 88 class average in trig and a 93 average in chem. not bad. I'm aiming for above 90 average this year so I quit stageworks. instead, I've joined breakdance and soon to be, seekers. homework hasn't been much of a breeze though. global homework is killing me. all together, I've taken about 10 pages of notes in just 3 days. the history textbook is much more effective than sleeping pills, or funny gas.

today....I went to breakdance, caught up with a few of my freshmen -cough-. afterwards, ricky, patricia, ying and I went to pace field to some volleyball. kingston was supposed to be there but he ended up half an hour late [typical kingston?] I stayed for a good hour or so, I decided to try T Baar's stuff. their bubble tea is REALLY good. I mean.. REALLY good. and it was only a dollar :D, but it'll never beat yayas. if only yayas had tapioca that wasn't so hard.

right now, I think [someone] doesn't like talking to me. I mean...I'm friendly and all that, but idunno, I IMed her and asked why she never responds. she said "I never wanna" that hurt me. I don't think I ever did anything to her. we took pictures together and stuff. it's like my best friend since I was 3 all over again. at first, we're all cool and tight, but now, it's falling apart. the bond is loosening. what she said really hurt me..

first week of school update.

first week of school was ok I guess. another year means another fresh start. I hope this year, God will give me the wisdom to succeed in school. I've been praying about it for a while. so far, my teachers are ok I guess. I dislike one of them though. Lapiroff, my technology teacher. she has to ask this other teacher in the back of the room for directions on what to do next. and worst of all, she speaks in monotone. its SO boring. 43 dreadful minutes every school day of the week. :[ she made us buy this multimeter thingymabob which costs $20. even better, radioshack's too cheap to throw in a battery, and the battery itself was $7. altogether was about $30 which is like.. a fricken waste of money. so far, I know a few people in most of my classes. its just spanish class that I'm a loner. first day of school, I manage to find ricky, jamie, amy, james song, nd patricia in my lunch period. we were like "OMGG! LET'S MAKE A CANA TABLE!" but in the end, jamie and amy just walk around. so now, patricia and I just sit with james and ricky's senior friends. one of them reminds me of hubert li. (:

right now, my mom is seriously pissing me off. I really can't take this. it's such a huge burden. she keeps repeating everything she said last night. every single fricken day. whoever reads this, I need someone to talk to when I'm at home...anyone, I just want to have a good convo so I don't have to deal with my mom. its just so irritating...someone I can talk about life problems to.

forever, author or salvation. my God is mighty to save!

this labor day weekend, I've felt so much change. I've felt a lot of rush in my body but it wasn't an adrenaline or sugar rush. It was a spiritual high. During praise and worship, we would sing, sing, sing our hearts out. we would sing about how we would hold our arms high, and abandon our hearts for him. how his creations are all uncomparable, his love is indesribable and uncontainable. God has spoken out to us, 4 days straight through Dr. Walter Christian Kaiser. I regret not going to the prayer concert. It was my chance to grow through praise and worship, but I rejected that chance. it's something that I regret, but it doesn't matter. my love for Him will always be as strong as it ever will be. that spiritual high feeling, will never leave me, just as nelson said.

testimony night was the night I'll never forget. all of the youth groups surrounding a person who is sharing their life story on how He changed them. it was so inspirational and touching. most if not, all of the people who were there were touched by all of the testimonies that were shared. even though we didn't have enough time for everyone to go, we managed to fill up the whole cross except for just one piece. it took a lot of courage to stand up in front of all those people to share about how God has changed each individual, some people even shared some secrets that aren't meant to be shared, but they shared it anyways. why? because they wanted to spread their life story about how He has molded us like clay. I learned that God has everything planned out for us, it's up to us to follow his plan. I really enjoyed singing my heart out. even though it wasn't until the last day that I felt that spiritual high during praise and worship, I'm glad that I managed to feel his presence. it doesn't matter how long into conference it took, that half an hour of just singing, and praising without a single care in the world, I was taken back. it doesn't matter how bad or how good you sing. its about how hard you sing with your heart I sensed his presence during testimony night. the fieldhouse was actually quiet for once. the stillness of the room made his presence known, and He was speaking to us. no matter how hard, or how easy it was to understand a testimony, every single one [to me] had a meaning behind it and God was giving us direction to life. to be honest, I wanted to cry. I wanted to cry because of the way God can change us, the way God shows his love for us, the way how he is always walking by our sides no matter what happens to us.

this is a special thank you to sze and nelson who gave their testimonies during devotions, I was already touched by theirs, let alone testimony night where a lot of people shared about how He has changed their life.

I messed up on my testimony, so I'll take some time to share with you.

I used to have a friend who I grew up with. I've known him since I was about two years old. we would do everything together. we played together, we ate together, we even played yu-gi-oh together. he was like an older brother to me. we went to ps 130 until I reached the 3rd grade where his dad wanted him to move back to rhode island to spend time there. he packed up, and only visited during the summer. I missed playing with him, spending christmas with him, learning about jesus with him in sdc. then one day, he gave me a call and announced that he's moving back to new york. I was 11 at the time, moving onto 7th grade. I walked him through the testing process to get into nyc lab school. I congratulated him as he came out of the classroom. so first day of school I showed him around and he enjoyed it. but after a month of school, I didn't like the new friends he made. they were what you would call the "bad group" I continued to hangout with him, but I noticed that he's not the same as before. not long after, he started getting into fights at home, started to come home late and sometimes not even come home at all. he got caught up with that type of life. one morning, I did the morning routine, knocked on his door to go to school. he came at me like a wild bear. he grabbed me by my collar and shoved me into the wall. he decked me in the face and threatend to do it again if I keep bothering him. at that point, I stopped talking to people, I started to hate people, started to be independent since everyone I knew seemed to have gotten close with him, but worst of all, I hated God. I was really upset that he severed the rope that held my friend and I together. it wasn't until a friend of mine took me back to ocm and I learned about youth corner. I stepped into 602 for the first time in a long time. I felt really welcomed, I'm greatful that pastor rocky then introduced me to friday night bible study, and sunday worship. it gave me a chance to learn more and reconnect with God. It hit me that God took away my childhood friend, and replaced him with so many others who care about me, and love me as a fellow follower of Christ. I've learned that my friend has been arrested by the police and he doesn't come home every now and then. God led me away from that kind of person and put me with people who are the good folks, I misunderstood God, his plan will always lead me in the right direction

east coast tour thingy,

so I'm heading out tomolo morning at 7 for this chinese tour group thing of the east coast. the only landmarks that I know I'm going to are the liberty bell, white house, and smokey mountains [I think]. I'll be gone tomolo, tuesday, and be back wednesday night. that means I'm gonna miss handball tomorrow and possible chill time. I never got anytime to just chill with lily. we promised each other but it never worked out. :[ so much for being best friends [JK JK :D still love you] but I really need to hang out with certain people[only person I can think of right now to hangout with is lily]

so this pretty much marks the end of summer. I can remember the first day of high school as if it were yesterday. holding onto my schedule, trying to find the rooms. this year, I won't have a cluster so new people, new friends maybe a few old faces in my class. I'm aiming to do so much better this year. all I needed last year was a new, fresh start. new teachers who won't have a lasting bad impression, no cumulatives to drag the average down. I'm committed to achieving higher, not only educationally, but also spiritually. that's why I'm going to summer conference friday. to learn more and more about His word. I pray everyday, pray for some things that may be given to me [eg: better grades, someone that will like me for who I am. maybe, a friend who would like me more than a friend. :o]

so I gotta finish packing, I'll still be on aim, but I'll be using my awesome[cough]MACBOOK! :D I hope hotels have wifi. =/ if they don't then no aim, blogspot, OR facebook. :[ -adds to prayer list- "hotel must have wifi" -scribble scribble-

no title.

so today... I was SUPPOSED to go read with LilyLee today, but I happened to bump into sze and patricia. they pressured me to go with them so I left barnes and noble, and lily told me to go with them. :[

so we got to the theatrem and I thought that I should call lily back to see if she still wants to go to barnes and noble, and sadly, she doesn't pick up. I called like... 7 times altogether [shows how much I care about her feelngs? :D]. she never picked up, but she called back! :D [made my heart jump when I saw her name]. I apologized over and over, so I owe her [she says I didn't do anything] but I'm gonna buy her something to make it up. we talked for about 20 minutes [like.. one of the longest phone calls I've ever had(:]

sze and patricia finished their movie and decided to come over to my place, quick stop to look at the roof in the daylight, we came home to watch tokyo drift, and then initial D. my mom came home a bit earlier, so they stayed for dinner too. it was pretty awkward how my mom kept talking to patricia and us in general about doing well in school etc etc.

so like.. I'm hoping that we can have some time to chill with each other since, I missed out today. :[

early in the morning...

so its pretty early in the morning....9:43.. wow david, VERY early. I'm bored with nothing to do, so I decided to blog about some recent thingys. um... life is pretty boring, I haven't done anything productive ever since the second to last week of school. As of right now..waiting for sandra to sign on, or lily to respond in hopes of going somewhere. if neither of them like.. do something I'm gonna end up watching movies with Rick and them. I would go, but the thing is...theres no girls going and I don't like sausage fests. sandra said she wanted me to go "adventuring" with her today to find her package of clothes. so I'm stuck home.... :[

a little update.

so I haven't posted up a blog for a while, but that's because nothing interesting has happened the past few days. today was an exception though, went to midwood for handball. I won singles against...eric and sam HUI! I'm proud of myself, but sam didn't go fully bankaii maybe 75%? but he pushed and the end was 25-23 so if he actually went all out, I prolly would've lost. so like... lily and sandra came [yayyy] but they came pretty late. we decided to go watch a movie, but sandra and lily decided not to go. we kinda ditched eric by accident, he moved to slow since he was talking to lily and sandra. we got to the theatre and the next showing of inglorious basterds was at fricken 7. we ended up going to my place, punishing my toilets, then going up to the roof. we watched the sun set, it was really cool and stuff if only we were with girls. :[

dedicated to ms. anna, sdc, and boston team :D

wow... summer has come and gone. I've met so many new and wonderful people, so many cherished memories, and things that will never be forgotten [FAY LONG! :D] but one thing, or rather person that will always be in my heart, is ms. anna yuen, director of summer day camp at OCM. I remember all of the times back when I was in sdc, when I was like.. 3 feet tall. I started going to sdc in 3rd grade and went all the way to 5th. 3 years may not seem much, but the memories that this person has given me, is enough to last a lifetime. today marks the last day of the sdc program.... for now. one day after the rennovation is all done and everything is back to normal, hopefully the sdc tradition will one day live again. ocm has taught me many things as I grew up, especially ms. anna. she has taught me how to love and care for each other, how to treat people with respect, and how to make new friends each day. as we always learned, "little by little everyday, my jesus, is changing me..."

I think I already blogged about this. but another SPECIAL shoutout to the Boston Team! :D WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO [x50817491 bajillion] seriously, I enjoyed the short time just....modulating[another word for chilling] together, even though it was only 3 days. we'll have more time in the future.

boston team. :]

I really enjoyed the volunteer outreach. Even though I come in the afternoons at 1, I still enjoyed the fun activities that they did, enjoyed the testimony that Max gave. Max's testimony got me thinking if I'm really christian. If I'm actually two faced or not. no one likes someone who lives a double life. I'm trying really hard to live my life for Him, but its really hard. I'm slowly growing to being a bit more like him, everyday, but the things that He has made for us on the Earth are like.. obstacles. the things that He has provided for us are like... little challenges to see if you can toss it aside to continue the run to eternal life. it's like a guy, choosing food, or keeping your friend company. ITS SO HARD TO CHOOSE! but we have to keep in mind to do the right thing...take the food and bring it to your friend, THEN eat it there! :D

today was boston team's last day to hangout with us. I'm disappointed in myself that I didn't get to know them better. I would've liked to go up to them and talk, but I don't know them that well...it would've been really awkward for me to have come out of nowhere. I guess the few people that I got close to are Rosalie, and Lucilla. they seem like really nice and cool people, but really, 3 days isn't enough time to get to know people. I actually found a few of the boston team members on facebook, but I'm not going to add them, too much awkwardness. I have stalking skills I wish I didn't have. :[

the boston teams shirts... they got me thinking. I didn't win a shirt, they didn't give me a shirt as a gift, and I was really jealous. I really wanted one of their shirts, I didn't know about the raffle for their shirts until they actually read the winners, I was so depressed. :[ then I tried to find one of them to give me their shirt, but I don't think theres any left. I was so sad that no one told me about the raffle yesterday, I didn't have any chance to win. but this got me thinking. I'm putting a materialistic thing, before Him. I can always serve and worship him without the shirt, without anything, but I really wanted that shirt because of what it stood for. I'm really sorry for ranting and I only know two people who would actually read this far. I never had a shirt from church before, and I thought to myself that having one would be so cool, it would speak out to people without me speaking. I'm disappointed in myself that I wanted their shirt SO badly...

I hate my life.

seriously...I want to go jump off my roof [40 floors down]. My mom yelled at me for "not helping" my sister. I really hate how I get blamed for something that's not my fault. my life...I really hate it just for today. I'm still grateful for all my friends and people who care for me.

my sister comes into my room going "help me print out the UK song on youtube!"
me: you can't print out songs from youtube, and youtube is gonna take like an hour to load
her: PRINT IT OUT! D:
me: I'll print out lyrics, whats the name of it?
her: UK SONG!
me: which UK song?
her: THE UK song!
me: idk what that is.
her: THE SONG I LEARNED IN CLASS!
me: IDK WHAT SONG YOU LEARN IN CLASS!
mom: STOP YELLING AND HELP YOUR SISTER!a
me: idk what song she wants how do I help her?
mom: why aren't you helping your sister HUH? WHY NOT?
me: IDK WHICH FRICKEN SONG SHE WANTS
mom: goes all confucius on me telling me some stupid crap
[mom goes away]
her: the uk nation anthem
me: wtf...
mom: I'm gonna go ask your pastor if he's been teaching to to not help your family.

WTF!

ocm superstars.

OCM superstars is coming up. are you ready for the challenge? because I'm not. lol we have like.. 5 days to get the routines down. we already have the dress code down. instead of a baseball cape, I might just wear my visor beanie if I can't find a good looking cap. sdc has been such a fun time for me this year. meeting all these new friends, having a wonderful time trying to teach the kids. I don't want the friendships that I have made over the summer to be a one time thing. I'm hoping that we'll always have like... a day to hang out in the week, or at least once a month. maybe handball whenever we're free, or just meeting up for like... some bubble tea, it would be nice if we could hangout once in a while during the school year. one time relationships are not fun.

ocm superstars are so close. :o

we talked, and we laughed, but it never happend

The word "like" has been bothering me a lot these days. I can't tell who I like anymore. It used to be this girl, but after I told her, I don't know if I still like her. I mean, I still look at her differently than others but I already know that she doesn't like me the same way, so why do I still view her differently than others? I can't stand it.

Then there's another thing. A lot of the new friends that we make, we'll joke around, we'll laugh with each other, but will it ever be like... a lasting friendship? We meet during the summer, but is that supposed to be it? There goes all the hugs that we give everyday, there goes all the good times that we had in those 6 weeks, but is it all meant for waste? I don't want any friendship to go to waste. I've lost a friend before, and I don't want to lose any others. Friendships are supposed to last. whether it be just a quick conversation, or a satisfying hug every time we see each other. I don't want to have the same feeling of losing my friend whom I've been growing up with until middle school. It's an unbearable memory and I think about it everyday. I think about what would happen if one of the friends that I make this summer were to forget all about me. if one of the friends I've gotten close with just left. gone, forgotten? Every single person that I've become close friends with, will always have a place in my heart. I still have the empty slot for my childhood friend to come back to. if he ever comes back...

summer is in the air. literally...

summer is finally here. it was so fricken hot today, I could probably cook eggs on a car hood. I was sweating so much during gym, dunking hoops who can't resist? o.o I was smart enough to like...drench my shirt in axe so I wouldn't smell in the afternoon, but I think I'm gonna carry the whole can with me now. I think this girl likes me right now. I could probably say the same to her but ionno, I just got over someone. isn't there like... a 1 month rule or something?

I'm kinda pumped for sepetember, kind of not. first thing...SUMMER CONFERENCE!!! WOOO! I need to hand in my check on sunday ._. people are encouraged to sign up because I heard its a lot of fun. this is gonna be my first and hopefully not last retreat. I'm sure I'll have a lot of fun playing and exploring more of His word. but then.... a day after I come back from conference, its school. I'm excited to meet new friends, but this summer has passed by way too quickly its like we're driving a little buggy car and summer is cruising in a lambo...I just wish I could stay in summer and reminisce with the good times we had, the fun times we cherish, and the new friends that we made.

SDC '09 FOREVER

midwood. friends. and tans?

I was woken up at 7 today....my stupid sister kicked the bottom of my bed. :[ I think like... people hate me. patricia was supposed to call me to go handball, but I had to call justin instead because I never got a call. patricia said she told nelson to call me...jonathan li was gonna go too. I ended up waiting at midwood cuz trains are retarded...I'm sitting there waiting...I see sandra and jeremy, I'm like... WTH?!?!?!?! turns out they planned to go to midwood too, sdc ruled the courts today. :D sandra, lily, patricia, sze, james, jonathan, jonathan, mike, harry, jeremy, justin, nelson, and....me :] so many J's....o.o I had an awesome time, I won my first singles game against harry. :D sze and justin kept telling me to strip though... maybe next time but I don't want to blind people with my paleness.. :[

I'm feeling as if like... people are talking nice to me just to be nice and not to hurt my feelings. that feeling is so scary, if people don't like talking to me, then they should just tell me upfront and I'll stop talking to them. cuz like.. a lot of IM conversations..people take mad long to respond, I can't tell if they're actually afk, or if they're thinking of something nice to say back. :[

my tan got worse btw..a LOT worse and if you've read this far into my blog, I'll give you a cookie the next time I see you.

I can't stop thinking

I don't like my life, I hate it, hate it hate it. I was forbidden to go to bible study today because my mom is still worried about what happened last week. the whole fricken' thing is over, there's nothing to worry about, I want to like...rip my hair out. I get locked up with no more freedom. I'm not even allowed out tomorrow. I have to stay home and study. WTH!!! its like I'm held captive with a 51809704319274 ton ball chained to my foot.

aside from my mom though, she's the least of my problems. if anyone noticed, I stopped bringing my guitar. a certain individual always takes it when I want to play it, always puts it away when I don't want it. like the other day, she asked to bring my guitar home, I thought she was going straight home, but no. she fricken went to some place and played it in public. the humidity isn't good for my guitar, and she knew that, she takes my guitar out in public without permission to play it in public, I thought that she was only gonna play indoors. I found fricken warps in the body.... really small but I can see them if I inspect them close enough. I'm being taken advantage of and I don't like it when people do that. she never says thank you unless I ask, is never considerate to bother asking me to take my guitar. she just takes it like she's that close to me. she used to be, maybe, but for like... 4 months and counting she's been a B to me. treats me like crap, she doesn't say mean things to me but she's changed her attitude towards me. that person still acts the same towards everyone else I feel as if I'm being left out.

and thanks for everyone who've been caring about my look recently. theres just a lot of stuff that's on my mind, and I don't have a way to get it all out. I can't go handball and release it there because my mom won't let me free. I can't handball in ocm cuz its too small, I don't have anyone to talk to about it because everyone is too busy and no one cares. I want to like....end it. right now.

painting in NJ?

so today... I was forced to miss out on street fair cuz my mom made me. instead I had to go to NJ to paint my cousin's house. :[ I wanted to go to street fair so badly! I wanted to help out and stuff even though I forgot to sign up like 3 weeks ago. so like.. my cousin drove us to a black neighborhood. I kept questioning why we were in a ghetto...and then, I saw the White Castle, I laughed so hard. white castle in a black neighborhood, makes so much sense. then I started making racist jokes and stuff, but my cousin always topped me.

we got to the house, it was like.. CRAP. run down there was only electricity on the first floor, there was no windows on the first floor, all taken out to be replaced second floor seemed nicer but no electricity and there was no running water. good thing we're not rennovating to live in it, we're renting it out. :D so we didn't have to do a fantastic job. painted for about 6 hours, highlight though, we came out of home depot and we were driving down the street. I notice that all the cars are waiting on the right side of us and we were going about 20. thats when I noticed there were cars head on at the stop light across the street. henry and I like.. FREAKED OUT! emily was like "wha??" she noticed and like...turned into a gas station...the cop behind us didn't mind. LOL! I missed street fair, I just learned that even if you didn't sign up and helped, you still get a shirt... FML!

grateful for ocm, dedication to pastor rocky, zion, and lily

today... was a pretty hectic day. I nearly got jumped/mugged. they would've jumped me then mugged me. I can't name at least 3 or them. patrick mock, amy chen, tony wong, ricky yang. they were waiting for me in the lobby. I was so stupid for following [someone] to the eye doctor. I bothered pastor rocky, a few zion people, and especially the cana people. I made bible study start later, interrupted the cops, even had some people worry. I didn't know what to do.

I felt so bad that that [someone] was there too, I called pastor rocky to see if he could drive me, he decides to come and pick me up along with will, mike, boaz, taniel and another zion dude. they came and picked me up, when I got back to ocm there was like a whole group of people, even pastor tingson, but I'm not sure if they were there to see if I was ok, it kind of seemed like it. I feel so bad that I bothered them, everyone got wet on the way back, I got soaked but I had other things on my mind to worry about wet shirt, wet jeans. I was so nervous, I didn't even talk to anyone when I got upstairs, I think some people even worried about me too.

My mom had a talk with pastor rocky and me, I'm just so glad and thankful to be blessed with people who care about me. people who would go out of the way to see if I'm ok. pastor rocky could have stayed at ocm to start bible study on time. zion people could have continued to hang out in the lobby, but no. they came to pick jeremy and I up all because of my fault. I'm really glad for that.

even when I got home, the caring didn't end there. like... a few people IMed me to see what happened, uh... I'm not gonna say their names, but they know who they are...if they ever read this, this is for you guys. although lily didn't know what happened, I could tell from the tone of her IM that she was worried, which made me feel all warm inside that so many people cared for me. lily continued to talk to me about it and it made me feel comforted that someone cares. she's just like, awesome to talk to. like she said, new best friends. :D I just thank the lord that theres just so many good and caring people in this world. this post is dedicated to pastor rocky, zion, and lily, for caring about my problems. [lily even read all the blogs that I wrote o.o]

yeah so like.. I died for a month or something....

I never update this blogspot anymore :O its so boring and too much typing. my fingers are getting a really nice workout right now. Ill backtrack for like a week, but no one reads this blog. ><

monday....I forgot what happened I think I went to school, and then volunteered at ocm.

tuesday...calvin asked me to bring in my guitar so he can teach me. I ended up watching winnie and calvin play guitars and calvin had to go back to his class. patricia and tim stole my guitar during dismissal.

yesterday....same thing, youth corner was great, football, boxball, handball. I left sad though, as if something had been taken from me.

today...I met like this girl named lily and she seems like a pretty cool person. thomas freaked me out today...he touched my face and said I was cute and stuff. we were alone except sandra who was pretending to be sleeping. it was SO awkward! :[ -awkward turtle- hm kingston took my guitar and played it in front of yayas. :] the yaya mascot! with um.... my guitar case open at his feet. cana threw change in there but picked it back up. :]

tomorrow?- sat, then chill with lily cuz she's like my new best friend. :D bible study after. sdc volunteers are welcomed to stay after to come to bible study, 603

God answered my prayer.

so if you read my last blog, I was stressing about failing classes on my report card, and missing credits. I was praying to God the past week, and he answered my prayer. He showed me that he is real, and that he can change our lives. I didn't fail one single class. He gave me a job for the summer when SYEP didn't accept me. He is the only one who can change my life. He knows what is going to happen to me in 10, 20, 30 years and beyond. Only him.

yeah....

so..I haven't updated this blog in a LONG time, but I can explain! I'm stressing out on what I'm going to get on my report card. It's actually just global. I'm safe in all of the other classes except for global and maybe DDP. other than that, my grades are fine. I just...can't stop thinking about what I'm going to get on my report card. I don't want to possible fail global or DDP. theres less than 10 hours left before I get my report card. D: OMG OMG OMG. I've been praying to God for the past week, trying to ask him to help me raise the grade. asking for help. I can't feel his presence though. its as if it's just...gone. vanished. I know that he's always there besides me, but as of this past week, I can't feel his presence next to me.

its all up to god.

so far, I've been home for about 45 minutes. 5 minutes after I came into my room. my mom bursts in and starts yelling at me. nonstop for 40 minutes. she's still yelling at me as a type this blog. I really can't handle it anymore. after tutoring on sunday I plan to go to church and have a talk with either debby or rocky. I really can't handle this. it seems now they're the only ones I can go to. I've pretty much lost the friends I can go to for comfort and an ear to listen. the only people left in this world whom I feel like I can talk to is pastor rocky, debby, and god. I pray every night, everyday before I go to bed and often in the morning. I pray that He can take away this pain and agony. I pray that my global grade will be beyond passing so that I won't have to deal with an extra course next year. I'm praying everyday on top of the stress of my grades, my mom yells at me nonstop. I really, really want to jump into traffic but thats not going to happen. I seriously need someone to go to right now, or at least talk to for comfort. my home isn't safe anymore.

regents.

I haven't blogged in...a while, I'm too lazy to count days. these past few days have been so weird. it feels as if its been months since I went to class. I hate the regents. they're making me stress out. the geometry regents were alright tomorrow is the biology regents. I'm not 100% prepared for it but I'd say I'm about 70% there. most of the stuff I learned in class is in my head. I'm just freaked about the DDP finals though I'm really scared that I'm going to fail. I'm praying everyday. every night before I go to sleep that I will receive a passing overall grade for global. so that I won't look stupid and retake the class again. even if the regents makes up for the credit, I still want to take american history next year and not look like a fool in front of the tech community. I'm praying everyday to god and I hope other will be praying for their grades as well as mine. its up to god now to decide whether I pass global or not. there is nothing else I can do now but to pray to Him.

can't take it anymore.

omg...I wish that this next week will pass by in a fricken' second. my mom is yelling at me nonstop to do this stupid packet that my cousin gave me. I'm telling my mom that its useless and its more helpful for me to study online. she's bitching at me [scuse for the language but I must] to do this packet saying that I'm always wrong and that her way is always right. that's bs. this packet is bs, I want to burn it but I don't want to get whipping with a belt [she really will do it] I can't do anything about this theres no way for me to explain to her that I don't need to do this fricken' packet and that I studied enough the past two weeks. my words don't make it to her brain. no way to explain to my mom that I don't need further studying. I really can't take it anymore. I'm about to either:
a. rip everything apart in this apartment
b. knock over the bunk bed
c. walk out
d. [something that is nearly impossible] contain the anger

I swear I'm growing white hair from containing all this anger and stress in me for the past few months or so. its all bottled up inside and its dangerous. I'm fearing that it'll burst out any second if she pushes it any further. I can't take it anymore I feel like leaving. now.

undo.

so....tomorrow is the finals...I'm really just worried about global. every other subject can kiss the fattest part of my ass. cuz...math is finished. english is acting. spanish is easy. biology, so so. DDP -> CRAP no class final but school wide one. uhhh thats about it. global is gonna be a pain. trying to study but I can't. I tried to let the bible show me the way but problem is that my bible was given to me in 2001. so the pages were too stiff for me to let my bible talk to me. usually I would let the bible fall onto a random open page and drop a pen or stick. read the verse it lands on. so yeah I need a new bible. oh btw, thanks justin for sending me Undo by Rush of Fools such a good song. :D. yeah I guess you could say that I like her but its most likely never gonna happen. :<

I think.

omg....I think I really like her...:[ what should I doooo?

everchanging.

so life has been acting up on me. we've all had ups and downs in our lives. but my life has been going down down down. I couldn't concentrate today. too many things on my mind.

1) is it possible for me and you to ever be together?
2) finals
3) regents
4) friends leaving

a lot of people today noticed my face as being down and depressed. some idiot even offered me anti-depressants/coke/weed. I shoved him out of my way and typically he would shove me back but then again, he's not THAT retarded to do that to me in the condition I was in today.

1) there are times where I can't stop thinking about how I want to talk to her, but its impossible since I like...never see her and I wish I did. I think I'm making it obvious but I doubt she reads this either. x.x

2)+3) anyways....my grades are like...the aftermath of WTC. I wish that I can just move onto sophomore year right now and start fresh and new. start off on a good start, going somewhere near 90mph and not dropped below 80. life can sometimes be a highway.

4) yeah. its getting to me.

change.

I'm taking a break from my studying to quickly post a blog since I haven't for two days. but no one misses me on my blog because no one reads it. I might as well shut it down.

lately, no, very recently I've experienced very deep and drastic changes. there are a few people who seemed as if we would be close friends at first sight. first month, hangout enough with them, I get along with them, and believed that we would be good friends forever. history seems to be repeating itself in my eyes. now, these friends are drifting farther and farther away. they seem to be ignoring me. their soft and friendly tone is just gone. it's as if I've been played, tricked, lied to. its as if they have decided that I'm not there to do what I'm intentionally doing. as if I'm a big joke and faking everything. to me, in their eyes, I am someone who is expendable, someone who considers them expendable. but that's wrong. every single person that I ever liked, as a friend or more than one, they will always have a place in my heart. friends are never to be forgotten, only to be cherished. this is bothering me, I can't study, I can't sleep. The thought of another friend leaving and just ignoring me isn't something that is easy to take. it was all of a sudden.

just like it was 2 years ago. my best friend whom I've known since I was 2 years old. we used to play with each other, talk to each other, even went to summer school and some hard times together. and then, in one swoop, he left me. gone off to be a druggie, a "BAMF" he stops talking to me altogther, even stopped waiting for me to go to school when he lived in the next apartment. its all seemed to change, and just drift away. its all something hard to bear.

who am I.

[Verse1]
Who am I?
That the Lord of all the earth,
Would care to know my name,
Would care to feel my hurt.
Who am I?
That the bright and morning star,
Would choose to light the way,
For my ever wandering heart.

[Bridge]
Not because of who I am,
But because of what you've done.
Not because of what I've done,
But because of who you are.

[Chorus]
I am a flower quickly fading,
Here today and gone tomorrow,
A wave tossed in the ocean,
A vapor in the wind.
Still you hear me when I'm calling,
Lord, you catch me when I'm falling,
And you've told me who I am.
I am yours.
I am yours.

this song is so inspirational. it is like....indescribable!<--chris tomlin song?
I couldn't get enough of this song today. it reminded me of the thirty hour famine back in april. during the uh...worship before we broke the fast. :D great song. today was BORING! Patricia, Justin, and Nelson were all tired from the Hillsongs United concert last night so I didn't go handball today. all of my friends already left their homes when I found out no handball. so I decided to go to barnes and noble to like..catch up on some regents books. I read for a good 3 hours or so. I was broke so I couldn't get my favorite drink at the cafe. :< I came home around...6:30ish. and I get some brand new shoes. :D two pairs of AF1s. but I don't think I'm the type to wear them lolz. aw wells shoes are shoes. :D

one sided love.

"I cant help it
Staring at u when ur not looking
Looking away when u r
When i see you laughing with someone else
I look away
Pretending it doesnt matter
Pretending I dont see u
Pretending that i dont want u
Pretending that u r nothing to me
But deep in my heart-
I'm drowning in my own tears
I sit here
Dreaming of a hope that will never exist
Trying to convince myself
That even if the sun sets today...
It will raise up again tomorrow
But as i look up at the darkening sky
I ask myself
Why? Why am i attracted to u so much?
Cuz it hurts to pretend
Bkuz every time i do
I feel like im losing myself
Why is it that only u, can make me so unsure of myself?
Is it bkuz ur so close...yet still unattainable?
So this, is wat they call...
One-sided love"
-thanks Jess

This is actually how I feel inside. one sided love. although I'm sure that it will never happen, its always best to at least let yourself think about it, and just let yourself feel good that she is someone that you want to be with, someone that you want to see everyday, someone that you can call yours.

people places and things.

So, today I wasn't cooped up at home. Felix asked me to go Karaoke! :D 27th st. and 3rd ave. It was Nelson, Justin, Patricia, Calvin, Felix, and Kingston. its a pretty nice sushi restaraunt. I didn't want to eat it though because Felix was paying and I didn't want to feel the guilt of mooching off of people. besides, I can get all of that and more in philadelphia for free :P. OMG the moving thingy with the sushi dishes was SO entertaining. its like...you're sitting at the bar, you see something you want, you just grab it :D. I wish I could just stand on it and let the moving thing take me around. somehow, the sushi plates can turn corners omggg its just SO cool! imagine having one in your home. between the fridge and you. AHHH! anyways. after lunch, went upstairs for Karaoke. I remember singing I want it that way, bye bye bye, a thousand miles, uhhh war, apoligize, girlfriend. and like others. haha nelson was so cool, he was singing/screaming, he opens the door and screams/sings into the hallways. kingston runs across the room which was like... 3 feet to shut the door. ahh good times. sometimes makes me wonder about our past and the good times that we used to have.

Remember when:
Getting high meant on the swing set?
When the worst things guys could do was give you cooties?
When wearing a skirt didn;t make you a whore
Where war was just a card game
Where the only things we smoked was tires on our bike
When the only things that hurt were skinned knees
The only drug that we knew of was cough medicine
Where race issues were about who can run the fastest

Its stuff that we have to think about. Every second, minute, hour, and day. We have to live it like theres no tomorrow. There is only one day in eternity where it will be June 4th, 2009. Only one day where we can graduate high school. one day where we will have the time of our life.

finals.

well...finals are coming up. I'm gonna fail freshman year and I'm scared. I'm scared of possibly going to summer school or night classes. I don't want to be embarassed like that. I wonder the percentage of our grades our finals and regents count. if it counts for at least 40%, then I should be good if I score a good score on them. the hole in my life still hasn't been patched. I want this hole to be mended I want people to like and love me for who I am. apparently most of the people I know don't and it hurts, deep down in my heart. <-- [hehehe deep deep, oh deep down down, deep down in my heart, ILY Jesus. :D] I'm scared of failing freshman year, I don't want to be embarassed like that. hah de ja vu moment for you! I'm gonna continue praying and hoping that I can pass my classes and boost myself back up higher next year as a sophomore. btw, I hate the fact that my mom makes me go somewhere at 5 on fridays and come back to ocm at 7ish. makes me look like I want to avoid bible study and not learn about god. I'm thankful that this week is the last week I have to do it so I can continue going to bible study like every other week. also, 3 more sundays, before the end of school, but that 4th sunday marks the day that I can finally start going to sunday worship and cana. but then again, by that 4th sunday I will find out if I passed freshman year or not. gotta get through finals first. good luck to myself and everyone who are taking it. time to reminisce[I spelled it wrong, but thanks] in my music. :]

unhappiness

I've been feeling like crap this whole weekend long and today. I haven't been feeling myself. I feel as if I'm missing something in my heart. something's not right. I pray to god about it but there hasn't been a change yet. there's something missing in my heart and I don't like it. lately, I've been trying to learn Haru Haru on the guitar. Jacky's teaching me haru haru on the piano along with Narutimate Accel 2 ending. :D. I don't have anything to look forward to anymore... :<>

thursday.

Again, today was a quick day. Spanish is always retarded I don't pay attention. I get 90s on the tests, and finish all the homework. she gave me an 80 for my grade which is BS. Biology...we cut up a frog, but I didn't touch it. I was too busy writing down the notes and stuff. reminds me to finish that lab. swimming.....hmmm I cannot do the breast stroke. if I were ever in the middle of the ocean, I would be stupid to use the breast stroke. freestyle all the way. lunch was lunch. global....some stupid crap. math, same thing. haha I was annoying alex and jamie though. english was a retarded periodic assessment. nothing much to blog about. I got my laptop back which I'm grateful for. I have about $2000 worth of software on it...I think. doesn't matter, its all good. :D I might not be able to go to bible study tomorrow cuz my mom is gonna need me. :< I don't want that to happen. :[ any plans for next thursday anyone?

argh.

My mom calls me right before prayer. FML. I hate how she always disturbs and peeks her nose into my business. I'm on the computer right now, and she sits at the table in the kitchen watching whatever I do on the fricken' computer, its so annoying. She's taken away my privacy. She took away my phone so there goes my contacts. She watches me when I'm studying, doing homework, blogging. There goes my friends. She doesn't like me chatting on AIM. I do it anyways and she yells. Even if a window flashes, she'll scream at me "WHY ARE YOU TALKING TO YOUR FRIENDS?? YOU DON'T HAVE ANY." Then she goes into a 20 minute lecture on how I'm gonna be poor when I grow up and that no girl would want me as a husband. She tells me to drop out of high school right now and collect soda cans for redemption. WTF. She evens calls me everyday afterschool to confirm where the hell I'm going. ITS TOO MUCH. I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE. I don't have anyone to talk to about problems anymore. I hate my life. yes, I pray to god about it and yes, I know there are people who have less fortunate lives than me. Even right now she's yelling at me about how I'm a failure at life and that I'm never going to succeed. FML big time.

burn.

Today passed by quickly...did I already talk about today? feels like I did, whatever school was boring as usual. We got to begin our dissection of a frog though. Eshaun friggen stabbed the frog with the scalpel so I think our group is screwed. he kept rubbing the scalpel in the frog's anus. The frog smelled and it was wrinkly and anoorexic. not enough flies? I should be studying for my global test tomorrow...I guess that's gonna be on the train and during lunch. Getting my laptop back tomorrow too! :D I have no idea how I'm gonna carry all of that stuff home. especially when I'm gonna be at youth corner. hm...I guess I'll be holding my textbook. :<>

so left out.

asdfghjkl;. I spent all day at home today...FML. all of my friends had their plans but none of them wanted me to go with them. either I'm that boring to be with. or I'm a complete asshole who no one wants to be around. I hate my life. FML. today was so fricken' boring no one asked to go anywhere. I probably wouldn't have been able to go, but most likely I can but didn't make a difference. no one asked to hang, and I didn't know where to hang. I spent today sitting on my butt reading fml and then I went up to the roof top to like... sleep and think about the things that were making me sad. long list and this topic was one of them. sitting up there was not peaceful at all. parties could be heard, people having fun, and people just having a good time. it was horrible...FML big time.

I'm beginning to lose it.

I feel like I'm beginning to lose it. I'm not sure if this is true or not but some people from cana don't like me very much. sometimes I don't feel welcomed by others at ocm. feels as if they want me out and that I don't belong. as if I'm there just to hang out and not to learn more about God. this is all my thoughts about it though. I may be wrong but thats how I feel about it. and its just wrong to me. =/

ok, different topic. memorial weekend is such a letdown. yesterday playing handball was eh. got kinda tannish yesterday not much. I GOT FRICKEN' SOCK TAN. so disgusting. today was like.... the big spark, highlight of the weekend. I was sitting outside talking with susan about our lives. she was just sitting on that....brick wall thingy waiting for our teacher but she never came. I sat with her and talked about whats troubling us. I talked to her about the person I liked, the person that might be mad or something at me. she talked to me about her problem such as missing out on her track meet for the...city championship I think. also about how tech ruined our lives :D. turns out I came in second place for the writing contest and math so thats an extra $60 in my pocket....soon. came home and talked to....people [you know who you are lol] but yeah I doubt theres gonna be anything fun to do tomorrow. no one is asking me to go anywhere. I don't know where to hangout, everyone seems to be busy with their own plans. I guess I'll sit at home and talk to myself? or someone on aim if they're gonna be home like me. pshh I'm a no life. D:

a place to calm down.

lately there has been so much going through our lives. my mom comes down like a fricken' bomb. sometimes I need a place to cool down and think things over alone. I chose my rooftop. it can be relaxing up there with the nice sunset view over ner jersey. it is my haven where I can lie down on the tanning chairs and look up at the sky. I can get away from all the noise from my mom and have a place to talk to god and seek for answers.

breakdown.

My mom is sooo fricken' annoying. I know she just wants the best for me but I think its too much. She went through my notebook and schoolbag today. She is so unfair. I got home today early to finish my homework and study. I ask to go to the volleyball game to support my friend. I get a really long lecture on how I'm slacking off.I'm not she says that I don't have a mindset to study and do well in school. I tell her that I'm trying but she always says no and its a huge burden. I can't take it much longer where my parents don't trust in me. she thinks that I'm lying about how I try to study and do homework. I'm tired of having her judge me the wrong way and I'm getting all the blame and getting yelled for it. There are times when she yells at me and I want to breakdown and cry but guys don't do that so I fight to stay strong. but this barrier of mine isn't going to last much longer. I really can't take it any more...

finish homework pretty early...

So....today is Tim's consolation game which I hope I can go to. I'm not sure if my mom is going to let. I came home early today and just finished my homework. I'm about to see if she'll let me go since I finished homework and I'll be home by 8. Last time I went I got home at 8:05 and stayed up till 11:30 doing homework where she got mad. But today, I finished and I'll try to get home earlier so hopefully I can go. :D about to go ask, wish me luck. Today was pretty boring. Classes are always boring at tech, theres never anything fun to learn anymore. unlike in elementary school where making light bulbs light up was as interesting as learning about the gossip at school. -.-

you know.

Ok....so we lost in the semi finals. big deal. none of the people on the volleyball team were sad about it. Tim actually stayed to watch the game so we all stayed. Even though we lost, Tim still had high high spirits...even though he lost. I think that shows that Tim has a lot of good sportsmanship and leadership. so yeah...after that game, we stayed to watch Kennedy HS. vs. SIT. We were still technically voting for Tech, STATEN ISLAND TECH! We used the poster-like signs patricia made to root for SIT that were originally meant to root for us. but aw wells. I'm a really boring guy on this blog, I know :[. ergh, I have stuff on my mind but I don't know who reads this blog. nor do I know anyone who would want me to talk freely to them. D:

water in my ears.

ok, so today is day.....6? yeah, whatever, we had gym today which is swimming :D. so ms. o'hara let use dive/jump from the starting blocks and it was cool. I belly flopped like... twice. the last few ones I did, I "accidentally" front flipped. unlike matt he just did a retarded jump and landed on his back. omg, mandy dives so beautifully and gracefully. so does alex zhitelzheyfoiladsfli [jewish accent]. so after I got out of the pool, there was still water in my ears. after school , it was still there, its gone now though :]. can't wait for memorial day and the thursday after that. I have no actual plans yet but I'm sure I can do something fun at the last minute. hoping I can go hangout with suki [the girl that looks like jessica!] or patricia and those ocm people. :D. yo, Tim's game tomorrow. we're gonna be there "TECHHH! YOU KNOW!" praying that we'll make it to the finals against seed 1, Cardozo.

bored in DDP.(>'.')>

So....I just rushed my DDP homework in DDP class. I'm grateful, THANK YOU MANDY! :]. She got me a 96 on my homework that I started 10 minutes before she checked it. Its sooo boring. bible study later :]. listening to music but I'm too lazy to put up the lyrics like patricia did. so far, I remember listening to:

everything that you ever wanted - hawk nelson[I think that's his last name]
beautiful - akon
hosanna- hillsong united
i will go - starfield
you and me - lifehouse
you found me - the fray

I'm tired of class. I just wanna get out of school, halo and then bible study :D.
btw, I got no where to go on memorial day, tomorrow, or uh the thursday that we have off. gary says he wants to go to ceo for pool on that thursday but its not confirmed. if anyone has any plans, hit me up? :]

The Aftermath

So...I doubt anyone reads my blog :[. but I'll blog anyways just for the heck of it. I'm sitting here with my global textbook in my lap. So....things went pretty well yesterday when I told my mom my report card grades. turned out to only be a 20 minute lecture. there was no arguing which I found was weird. omg. I got five starred so hard today. :[ TWICE on the same spot. it got so red. stupid matt and show. gahhh I'm not too sure who I like. :[ its frustrating but people that I like, like....always would rather be friends so yeah. I guess not. bible study tomorrow. whooo! I'm not treating people to yaya's tomorrow. I already spent $9 yesterday treating dana and patricia. D:

Late blog about monday

Ok, I'm still sitting here. I'll do a late blog about monday just to drag it out. soooo, it went by pretty fast, english was stupid as usual. After school, it was common time so I follow Patricia to Stuyvesant. I found it really awkward. I sat next to her and we were both silent. I wanted to say something or talk about a random topic but then I would feel as if I would aggravate her or something. eh, anyways what passes has passed. But it was seriously awkward to hear nothing by silence instead of talking to someone. Anywho, we got to stuy. I noticed Justin at the corner of my eye. Patricia starts dragging him and trying to get him to play handball at Battery Park. Patricia was so stubborn, Justin broke free and ran. Being stubborn, Patricia made me follow and so we stalked him to the staten island ferry. we bumped into patricia's [I'm tired of capitalizing proper nouns] friend william. so it was a pretty nice ferry ride [first time on it]. patricia once again tries to get justin to go handball at a court in staten island. he escapes, and patricia scrapes her arm D: [that jerk]. so william patricia and I went to C.S.I. apparently, college people SUCK at handball, they kept lobbing it OVER the wall. in my opinion, I could've beaten william, his hand was so stiff and not cupped at all. then after one game of them two playing and me watching [-.- apparently I sucked too much]. we left. william took a 10 minute bus ride to his place. me and patricia caught a half hour bus ride to the ferry terminal. seriously...I HATED the silence. we were both still silent for the bus ride but then she was trying to sleep so I guess that's excusable. wow I LOVE ranting [not, but I hate being yelled at, if you're still reading this, I'll give you a sticker the next time I see you] me and patricia had to RUN down a ramp to catch the ferry. again, I still liked the ferry ride, this time on the newer boat. patricia was gonna be home alone when she got back and with no food. being a guy, I bought her dinner, or..whatever she calls it and yeah that's how the day ended. I get home, a half hour lecture. right now, a possible 2 hour lecture. -.- bye

Our hands fit together.

So, its a boring wednesday night and I'm sitting here blogging [how nice]. I'm about to receive blows in the face [possible for this to be literal]. We got report cards back today. Although I went up 10 points, its still a 76 average :[. I got a 80 in spanish, 91 in bio lab, I was supposed to get an 85 in biology. but the teacher messed it up. D:<>'.')>" :] I can't wait for this next hour [maybe two] of yelling and lecturing from my mom to pass by. I really do try, but sometimes its just really hard. Well I guess I'll also do a seperate late blog for monday.

sorry

I'm sorry for not updating my blogspot often. I find no use of it, but I will try to continue posting although I'm sure that I'm just talking to myself and that no one reads my blog. Anywho...yesterday was Parent Appreciation Day at OCM. uh I'll use PAD for short. yesterday was fun I guess. I had fun spraying whipped cream on those...those...cups with the cake and strawberries. We played tha banana game. I was about to sit on the seat to eat the bao but then I remembered that I had a math competition in 10 minutes so I rushed out without saying bye [I'm sorry! D:]. I won second place which is kinda cool. they give you a scholarship to go back to learn [wtf? just gimme the cash $30] so yeah. Different topic. I'm not sure who I have a crush on. It's between a crush and interested since I like.. never see her. And its hard sometimes to talk to her since we have nothing to talk about. -.- so yeah.

hangout?

I'm not sure what font I use but I think its this one, but anyways. I'm tired of having no where to go afterschool [except for wednesdays and fridays]. It's so booring at home and theres nothing to do. I'm hungry....for GOD. :] yeah...I read my Bible sometimes....so? do something about it! :] but yeah. Nothing to do and I decided to actually use blogspot. xP The "I'm Hungry For God" thing was also from the 30 hour famine. so yeah....

kevjumba

I found kevjumba's look alike! My friend Wen!
http://photos-c.ak.fbcdn.net/photos-ak-snc1/v1078/106/95/630520600/n630520600_5088066_5658.jpg

ok....anyways...Nothing's new looking forward to Bible Study tomorrow. About my day? school =BS in a cup. afterschool, a few friends went to play handball and I decided to go along. There was this black guy [I'm not racist] complaining a lot about how he's waiting to play handball and how my friends suck and everything. He reminds me of people who aren't saved. They're not patient, they like to rush rush rush.

"Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boat, it is not proud. It is not rude, if is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails" 1 Corinthians 13:4-8 NIV

This verse is similar to what the black guy was yelling about in the park. He was yelling about how it was taking so long and how much my friends sucked. One thing was sure, he was LOUD

First blog

This is my first blog so this is gonna be awkward. I'm David from BTHS '12 [O.o] I set this up for....no reason at all. I guess I can post up feelings, or better yet new teachings I learn at ocm [check out pattyzheng.blogspot.com too].